Luke Skywalker, Pet Killer

Have you ever sympathized with background characters? Spider-man just ran through an office floor and scattered papers everywhere. And somewhere in that office, someone is going “I SPENT THREE HOURS ORGANIZING THOSE THE LAST TIME YOU SCATTERED THEM SPIDEY! SOMEONE GET ME SOME PAGE NUMBERS!”

But I’m here to talk about this guy and my revelation in regards to him.

This is Malakili. He raises rancors.

When I was younger, Dad and I were watching Return of the Jedi, most likely with my brothers, and then this guy came on screen and started bawling over the giant monster (called a rancor) that almost ate Luke Skywalker. I turned to Dad and said, “Why’s he crying?”

“Because that was his pet,” Dad said in reference to the rancor.

I immediately felt sorry for the then nameless guy. (I found out two days ago his name is Malakili). Forget the fact that he bred a rancor that eats living people regardless of home planet. Let’s ignore the fact that the rancor’s eating time was for recreational viewing purposes (unless you were on the menu). Instead, let us zero in on the fact that his pet was now dead and he was sad enough to openly cry about it. I could fear someone else killing my pet enough to sympathize with this guy. He obviously loved it very much.

Luke Skywalker killed this man’s pet monster. 

And not only that, but Luke didn’t seem phased by the fact that this guy was mournfully mourning the death of his pet rancor. Isn’t that something a Jedi should do? Jedi are supposed to be all-good, right? Killing someone’s pet seems pretty evil to me. Why isn’t Luke apologizing? Sure, the pet in question was a RANCOR, but he was a LOVED rancor! Show some compassion, Jedi!

It just breaks your heart, doesn't it?

So hide yo’ banthas and yo’ tauntauns, peeps. Smuggle your rancors away from the Hutts. ‘Cuz if they meet the wrong side of Luke Skywalker, they are as good as gone.

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